Time

It’s a small word for a big topic

I hadn’t realized until I logged in today how long it has actually been since I posted.  If someone would have asked me, I would have said it was last month.  In fact, it was April when I last posted.  I took a minute to think about that, in some ways it didn’t seem possible, but in other ways it seemed like it could have been even longer.  I started to think about what has been going on since then and how I have spent my time.  This is a small piece of what life can feel like, time can easily get away from you or you can be too busy to realize time is moving on or some people just don’t pay attention to time.  I have been especially aware of time since my son was diagnosed with a degenerative condition, his life expectancy was limited, they didn’t think he would live past 16.  I had a friend that had lost a child and when she learned of his diagnosis, she told me to live life, make memories and take pictures.  And that’s what I tried to do with him, it wasn’t always easy, at times because of his health life would be on hold for a while.  But when we could, we went right back to making the most of our time.  When my son’s time ran out it was excruciatingly painful, but I had all those memories and pictures to hold onto and it gave me some comfort.  Still today my memories and all those photos are my most treasured possessions.

When I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer I was once again reminded how precious time is and I made sure that every day my son and I spent time together.  After my son died, I had a recurrence of my cancer, it wasn’t unexpected, but it was still difficult to hear.  Once again, I was reminded of how short life can be.  This time I took a different approach, I decided that I needed to really think about the things I am willing to spend my time on.  That may sound selfish to some, but it is my time.  I continuously make assessments of what are priorities and what maybe doesn’t deserve my time and I make changes accordingly.  The events in life certainly change, or at least shift, your priorities and one of those priorities is time.

If I was to give advice, I think it would be this: Be present, live in the moment.  Don’t miss a chance to let someone know how you feel.  Celebrate, even the small things in life.  Don’t put things off, that just becomes missed opportunities.  Spend time with the people you love.  And most of all remember that time is a precious commodity, treat it that way.

New Year, New Memories

20160201_11235420160201_151009A goal (not resolution) I had for the new year was to make more memories with my son, Robby.  To that end Robby and I planned a visit to Knott’s Berry Farm with Sabrina, one of his nurses.  It was cold and windy, but none of that mattered, we had a great day!!  Robby made friends right away with Lucy and Snoopy!!  but the true highlight was captured in the second picture.  Robby tends to hang his head now.  So we saw Snoopy again, but this time he knelt down to Robby and snuggled with him, it was heartwarming.  Snoopy stayed there with Robby until he finally looked up and saw Snoopy!!!  I thanked Snoopy and he gave me a big hug!!!!  Memories like that are exactly what I am hoping for, they will be something to hold on to when Robby is gone.

I don’t want anyone to think this year is going to be a blog full of memories with Robby (all though there will be some), but I am using this as a reminder-life is short, don’t miss it!!!!!