As everyone knows, but might not like, the fact is that life seems to constantly be changing. People come and go, they die, babies are born, jobs change, there are promotions, then there are marriages, divorces, even change of mind and so much more. I know when my panic/anxiety and agoraphobia where at their worst change was something I did not deal well with. To try to deal with changes I would just visit my old friend denial again and make believe that things were just the same-that worked for me….or maybe not. I fooled myself for as long as possible, I found that creating my own little world inside my house made it a little easier to cope. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t confronted with changes, I was, but I put them into my own context. When that didn’t work I just buried whatever changes there were, hoping never to see them again. But then therapy came along and suddenly my previously denied and buried changes were on public display.
I find that I have become better about handling change, at least most of the time. But there are some times when it seems like there are more changes than I can deal with. I feel like I have been knee deep in way too many changes lately and I am overwhelmed. I have someone I am very close with that lives a distance away and is now moving further away. I have had some deaths, changes in my life style, health changes, changes in the way I access medical care, changes with my son, and I am sure there are more that I am forgetting. I think it would help if I had some sort of chart to keep it all straight. I have decisions to make that could lead to more changes in our life. I am trying hard to use the tools I have learned in therapy to keep it all in perspective, you’ll notice I said trying.