Marching In Place

It has been two weeks since by world changed with the passing of my son, Robby.  I have tried staying busy by doing projects at home, shopping, running an endless number of errands, cleaning and having lunch with friends.  To block everything out I have been obsessing about the planning for the memorial service, but that will end soon.  Like in the beginning I talk and participate in whatever activity but I don’t feel anything-well I do feel empty and lost most of the time.  Some days I feel like I am just marking time, waiting for something to feel right, but so far no.  Everyone keeps telling me how good I am doing and that it’s my turn or I can do whatever I want-really??  That doesn’t feel right either.  I have no idea of what I want to do or where I go from here.  All I am sure of is how much I miss my son.  And the only thing that takes a little of that pain away is knowing he is at least in a better place.