With the memorial service done I turned my focus to a trip I wanted to make for a long time, I starting planning my trip to Portland. It wasn’t so long ago that any trip would have been impossible with my agoraphobia, but now I feel like I need to try. So the decision was made, I would make it a short trip-four days/three nights. That way I was not over committed, if there was too much anxiety I wouldn’t feel trapped. After coordinating times with my brother in law and my roommate/ride to the airport I purchased my ticket!! I believed that once I got on the plane it would be ok, I knew that the next person I would see would be my brother in law. I shared my plans with a friend who immediately said ‘oh great, you are moving on’!! Seriously?? My response came with no thought, I said ‘no I am not moving on, I am going to Portland’!!!
After purchasing a suitcase, planning and packing the day finally arrived for me to leave on my trip, I was excited and a little anxious. My anxiety increased some when I got on the plane, but once in the air and on the way it was manageable. We landed in Portland and my first thought was I can’t believe I am here!!! After claiming my bag I called my brother in law to pick me up, when he got there I told him I still can’t believe I am here!!! He was very proud of me, he understands how big a step this is for me. My trip was great, some episodes of bad anxiety at the beginning, but then back to manageable, as a matter of fact the last night I slept 6-1/2 hours in a row, I can’t remember the last time that happened.
My last day in Portland was hard, I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want to come home. I was very emotional, but on the upside no anxiety!!! I had intentionally made it a short 4 day/3 night trip not knowing how it would go. I know my ticket could have been changed, but that would just delay the inevitable, at some point I had to come home. Now that I am home I am looking forward to my next trip to Portland, and staying longer!!!
