As I have talked about before I am working on my book. I have been trying very hard to get the first six chapters done and edited. I have more chapters written, but the first six are what I need to start looking for a publisher.
So the other night I had a girls night at my house, it gave me a chance to show off my martini mixing skills. We talked about many things, including my book. I got out one of my journals I am referencing in my writing. I wanted to show my unique post it tab system, it’s a little crazy. One of my friends asked if they could just pick a page at random and I could read what was on it? I said sure, so she picked one and I shared an entry about Steven, the delivery driver. They laughed and I shared another entry about Steven. They then said that obviously I had a crush on him and they laughed, and suddenly I felt silly and foolish.
Yes I talked to Steven and yes I flirted with him and yes I like him, he is an interesting person. But the point that was missed is those conversations with Steven provided me with both motivation and hope. I pushed myself harder to be outside so I could talk to him. And when I did it made me see there was life outside my house, that gave me hope.
So today I was working on the chapter about Steven and I found myself second guessing what I have written. Are people going to miss the point? Am I just going to look silly? Are people just going to laugh? Is this whole project just a joke? I hope not!! I have poured so much into the book and I want to think readers will get something from it, that’s why I am writing it.
So after hours and hours today of struggling with this, I have decided that as I stated at the beginning of this project, I have to be true to my story. And if some people think it’s a joke, well that’s ok. My hope will still be that it reaches someone and helps them.
