Month: July 2019

Baggage That Needs To Be Packed

I have a chapter in my life that I really want to fold neatly and pack away.  I have processed it, learned lessons from it and want to move on from it.  I haven’t been able to do that because the people involved still owe me money.  Yes, that was one of the lessons from this, don’t loan money!!  So, one of them has chosen to ignore my attempts to collect it.  The other one made a payment arrangement with me and paid some payments (not on time) and now has quit paying.  Now I am left with no option but to file at small claims court, not something I want to do.  So last week I filed the first case, this one is against the person that quit paying.  Next stop…court. Then I will file against the other person, I decided to take them on one at a time.  This has brought back the feelings, the memory of what happened and all my regret that I let myself get into that situation.

I wish that court could be the end, but even if I get a judgement I will still have to try to collect the money.  Some days I feel like this will never be over, but I am trying to hold onto hope.  I have my bag ready to be packed…….some day, some day!!

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I’ve Met The Enemy….And It’s Tiny

It’s been too long since I posted here, I’ve been dealing with a new enemy.  I am allergic to mosquito bites.  This summer I have already been bit 16 times, it’s just the middle of July.  This battle has taken me to the ER twice, several doctor’s appointments, lots of steroids, many boxes of Benadryl, lots of tubes of cortisone cream, antibiotics and endless hours with the icepack.  It has caused pain, swelling, inflammation, itching, nausea, hours of walking the floor and many, many sleepless nights.

I went online in search of info about preventing mosquito bites.  I read about all kinds of repellants and found some that are natural, I don’t like to put a lot of chemicals on my skin.  I read an endless amount of advice about what clothes to wear, what colors to avoid wearing and times of day to avoid being outside.  I read medical articles about why some people have such severe reactions.  I also made a request to the OC Mosquito and Vector Control District, I wanted to see if there was anything we could do in my complex to help.  The inspector came out and found what kind of mosquitoes we have; we have the Asian Tiger mosquito.  He told me they are black and white and are only 1/4 long.  He explained that his mosquito can breed in less than 1 ounce of water.  And they are aggressive, yeah-I’ve seen that.  And this kind bite in the daytime as well nighttime.  He found one source, but was concerned there are more, so he made some recommendations.

The ‘side effect’ of this ‘war’ is some backsliding with my agoraphobia.  I am staying home more to avoid getting bit.  But when I do go out there is my friend anxiety waiting for me.  Things I haven’t had any trouble with for a long time are difficult again.  This is not only frustrating, but it is discouraging.  With so much summer left the reality is I will have to be inside more.  So, my thoughts are first, I think it’s good that I am aware of what going on.  Second, I have to find a way to address this, so far I have decided I have to leave the house at least every other day.  It doesn’t matter whether I just go drive or do an errand, just so I leave the house.

I will not be pushed back to where I was by this tiny, annoying insect.

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