I feel like everywhere I go there is hate. It comes in many forms, people who are just angry, people that are ready to be angry or offended, and people that can’t agree on anything, people who are intolerant, or people that think there is no hope to name a few. It manifests in so many ways; a person getting angry with a cashier, angry drivers, people that cut you off even at the market, hostility when you ask a question…… I don’t understand where all this hate is coming from, why is everyone so angry?
I have always been optimistic, so maybe that makes it hard for me to understand. I really want to try to figure it out. I find that all the tension it creates affects my anxiety. At first, I was surprised it had that effect on me. But when I thought more about it, I could see that it is the tension, not necessarily the actual hate that triggers my anxiety. I am finding the more anger and hate I encounter the more I don’t want to go out, that is challenging with my agoraphobia. I have worked hard and finally been able to ‘manage’ my agoraphobia. I am still scared that I could so easily backslide; I don’t want to go back. I know that I do not have the ability to fix society, but I’m hoping if I can find a way to understand the anger and hate better, I can manage it in my little world.